If you decide to meet that chick from the internet, look closely at her picture. High-contrast, overhead cameras, and the crop tool are amazing tools of the devil. If you think it doesn’t matter, and that it’s all about personality, well her personality is a LIAR.
It must really suck trying to convice everyone you know that you’re not one of ‘those’ pushy religious assholes. Yeah yeah, you see all the time how some people protest soldiers’ funerals and claim Heath Ledger is going to hell because The Joker didn’t carry a bible everywhere. But wait, then this shit happens that proves that everyone is actually the same. Muslims, (The Religion of Peace), Christians, (What Crusades?!), it really doesn’t matter. Assholes come in all sizes and beliefs. Vandalism isn’t a crime if it is done in the name of the lord, right? OH WAIT, nothing is done in the name of the Lord, it is only done in the name of the person.
www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/02/17/Atheist-billboard-vandalized/UPI-73071266387409/
It’s kind of an older picture, but this is still one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen. He may have 4 kinds of hepatitis now, but hey! He’s internet-famous!
So, running this website can be a pain in the ass sometime. I wish I could find something daily to post. Instead, I fight Viagra spam and hope we get a few thousand TRUE hits a day. Today, I’ll show you what we’re fighting. Instead of people finding us because of my excellent writing style, these are the most popular search terms. So, from now on, every story will be tagged with the words ’suck’ and some sort of misspelling of ‘vagina’. BTW parents, if you don’t know what the internet is, don’t let your kids on it. Otherwise, they’ll look up ‘How 2 suk tattooed vijina’. Assholes.
The look of sheer terror
Sometimes innocent things can go horribly horribly wrong. Doing a Google image search for ‘toys’ or ‘innocent teen playtime party’, trying to give the President a chocolate revolver, and letting your children go to a government sponsored site for children. Buster’s Place was set up to probably be as boring as everything else politicians think children like. But things got interesting when googling ‘Buster’s Place’ takes you to a gay balloon fetish website. What a wacky world we live in!
This is how people celebrate.
Ohio Lottery winner killed by car while celebrating
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 5:39 PM
SANDUSKY REGISTER VIA AP
SANDUSKY, Ohio — Authorities say a woman who had been out celebrating her winnings in the Ohio Lottery was killed when she was struck by a car.
The Ohio Highway Patrol says Deborah McDonald of Crystal Rock had just left a bar in north-central Ohio and was walking along a road last night when she was hit.
A spokeswoman for the Ohio Lottery says McDonald won $8,000 in the lottery’s TV game show Cash Explosion Double Play.
The show was taped Jan. 12 and is set to air at the end of the month.
Patrons at a tavern near Sandusky say McDonald was with a group that had been celebrating her winnings and playing pool last night.
Patrol Sgt. Joe Wentworth says they are looking into whether alcohol was a factor, but they don’t think the driver of the car was drinking.
This makes perfect sense on peyote
A great website for those of you that want pictures that make you question humanity. Lots of stuff I’d like to post, but they’re not really in the spirit of suckiness. Also, it’s only the right thing to do. Visit http://pictureisunrelated.com
Like the iPhone but without the usefulness
Hey kids! Do you like the iphone, but wish it was the size of a bathroom window? Do you wish it looked and acted exactly the same, except for those nagging features? Well do we have a bridge to sell you! (Free iPad included).
Yup. Apple has made a new ‘magical’ (their word) device. This time, it’s the size of a notepad, but touchscreen! A lot of people say it looks just like an enormous iPhone, and yeah, I can see that. Except, it’s not a phone. So that would just make it the Apple i. It doesn’t have a camera, which is cool, cause there’s no way you’re sneaking that under some japanese schoolgirl’s dress. It can’t multitask, so if you had dreams of ‘magically’ listening to music while browsing the web, sorry. But hey, who wants that right?! You know what else no one wants anymore? Adobe Flash. All of those stupid casual games, and fancypants websites that use it can get fucked. Apple knows what we want, whether we like it or not.
So, if you’re really into surfing the web without the hangups of a physical keyboard, multitasking, flash, instant picture sharing, or USB SUPPORT (there’s an iDapter for that), the iPad is for you. I’ll see you at the local coffee shop, hunched over, with hands in an awkward position trying to type on an imaginary keyboard. We’ll knowingly nod at each other, then exchange smirks 
knowing that we are the only non-sheeple smart enough to buy a $900 web browser.
In all seriousness though, it would be kinda cool to install the old tabletop Pac-Man on. Otherwise, it sucks.
Like Captain America. Minus the America part.
First, let’s remember the life of Albert Einstein. Working in the patent office, biding your time until you can unleash the most complicated theory of everything the world has ever seen. You figure out that every atom in the universe has the energy of itself, times the speed of light. Oh, and go ahead and multiply that last one by itself. Some fancypants american scientist decide that maybe you have a point, and invent a bomb that proves your point. Whoopee! NOW everyone will believe you! And fortunately, only a few hundred thousand sideways-vaginaed japanese had to die. So… life’s pretty good right?
Well, now let’s pretend we’re some guy named Tsutomu Yamaguchi. For those of you who can barely read an illiterate text message, we’ll call him Tom. Tom shares my birthday, March 16, (which explains our near-invincibility) but has me beaten by about 67 years. Tom lived in Nagasaki, Japan, but fortunately was working out of town for the next 3 months. Wait, I just read more about him. So nevermind that last bit. He had forgotten his engineer’s stamp or some damn thing. So on August 6th, 1945 went to the bus station to return home and get it. Standing there dreading having to ride the bus beside some guy with a pot-bellied pig in his suitcase, less than 10,000 feet away, a bright flash of light appeared and destroyed everything that saw it. No cake was served. 3 days later, after recovering from his deafness, temporary blindness, and 3rd degree burns, he finally made it home to good ol’ Nagasaki! Finally able to relax, he starts telling his story about the light of god’s hate or some damn thing. Official estimates put this conversation around 11am on August the 9th. Suddenly a bright flash of light was followed by 500,000 degree heat (see: flash point of everything) at, once again, at a distance of less than 10,000 feet. This poor, poor bastard lived through TWO atomic bombs. He suffered burns, blindess and deafness for years and was barely able to live till… 2010?
Yep. Cigarettes will kill you RIGHT NOW. Alcohol kills your liver and turns you yellow. Marijuana will make you insane and able to play piano really fast. All of these thing are super awful, and you’ll never pass DARE class if you even speak their names. Albert Einstein only made it to 76. Hell, Stephen Hawking was supposed to die 44 years ago, but is still only 68. But here we have a guy that was 30 years old, and had 2 nuclear bombs dropped on him. He just died 8 days ago, at 93 years old. When we live in a world where Paris Hilton is a hero for enduring 23 days of living in a one bedroom apartment, this guy should be some sort of god. He lived over 60 years after a double nuclear bomb victim, WITHOUT any of the super powers. But he’s japanese, so who gives a shit right? Oddly enough, he was a voice against atomic weapons (wtf?). But still, he shouldn’t count his chickens before they’re hatched. When in Rome… There’s got to be some cliche that fits. Anyway, this guy escaped an atomic bomb, went home, and lived through another one. His life SUCKED.
