If you decide to meet that chick from the internet, look closely at her picture. High-contrast, overhead cameras, and the crop tool are amazing tools of the devil. If you think it doesn’t matter, and that it’s all about personality, well her personality is a LIAR.

Sorry ma’am, fat chicks cannot be princesses.

www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/02/17/Atheist-billboard-vandalized/UPI-73071266387409/

It’s kind of an older picture, but this is still one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen. He may have 4 kinds of hepatitis now, but hey! He’s internet-famous!

The look of sheer terror

Sometimes innocent things can go horribly horribly wrong. Doing a Google image search for ‘toys’ or ‘innocent teen playtime party’, trying to give the President a chocolate revolver, and letting your children go to a government sponsored site for children. Buster’s Place was set up to probably be as boring as everything else politicians think children like. But things got interesting when googling ‘Buster’s Place’ takes you to a gay balloon fetish website. What a wacky world we live in!

Full story here

This is how people celebrate.

Ohio Lottery winner killed by car while celebrating
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 5:39 PM

SANDUSKY REGISTER VIA AP
SANDUSKY, Ohio — Authorities say a woman who had been out celebrating her winnings in the Ohio Lottery was killed when she was struck by a car.

The Ohio Highway Patrol says Deborah McDonald of Crystal Rock had just left a bar in north-central Ohio and was walking along a road last night when she was hit.

A spokeswoman for the Ohio Lottery says McDonald won $8,000 in the lottery’s TV game show Cash Explosion Double Play.

The show was taped Jan. 12 and is set to air at the end of the month.

Patrons at a tavern near Sandusky say McDonald was with a group that had been celebrating her winnings and playing pool last night.

Patrol Sgt. Joe Wentworth says they are looking into whether alcohol was a factor, but they don’t think the driver of the car was drinking.

This makes perfect sense on peyote

A great website for those of you that want pictures that make you question humanity. Lots of stuff I’d like to post, but they’re not really in the spirit of suckiness. Also, it’s only the right thing to do. Visit http://pictureisunrelated.com

Like the iPhone but without the usefulness

Hey kids! Do you like the iphone, but wish it was the size of a bathroom window? Do you wish it looked and acted exactly the same, except for those nagging features? Well do we have a bridge to sell you! (Free iPad included).

Yup. Apple has made a new ‘magical’ (their word) device. This time, it’s the size of a notepad, but touchscreen! A lot of people say it looks just like an enormous iPhone, and yeah, I can see that. Except, it’s not a phone. So that would just make it the Apple i. It doesn’t have a camera, which is cool, cause there’s no way you’re sneaking that under some japanese schoolgirl’s dress. It can’t multitask, so if you had dreams of ‘magically’ listening to music while browsing the web, sorry. But hey, who wants that right?! You know what else no one wants anymore? Adobe Flash. All of those stupid casual games, and fancypants websites that use it can get fucked. Apple knows what we want, whether we like it or not.

So, if you’re really into surfing the web without the hangups of a physical keyboard, multitasking, flash, instant picture sharing, or USB SUPPORT (there’s an iDapter for that), the iPad is for you. I’ll see you at the local coffee shop, hunched over, with hands in an awkward position trying to type on an imaginary keyboard. We’ll knowingly nod at each other, then exchange smirks knowing that we are the only non-sheeple smart enough to buy a $900 web browser.

In all seriousness though, it would be kinda cool to install the old tabletop Pac-Man on. Otherwise, it sucks.

Does this guy know how to party or what?