So, running this website can be a pain in the ass sometime. I wish I could find something daily to post. Instead, I fight Viagra spam and hope we get a few thousand TRUE hits a day. Today, I’ll show you what we’re fighting. Instead of people finding us because of my excellent writing style, these are the most popular search terms. So, from now on, every story will be tagged with the words ’suck’ and some sort of misspelling of ‘vagina’. BTW parents, if you don’t know what the internet is, don’t let your kids on it. Otherwise, they’ll look up ‘How 2 suk tattooed vijina’. Assholes.
It’s your adorable daughter’s birthday! So, like most people, you post her picture on the internet and ask for help photoshopping her. Happy Birthday Punkin!
So, we have this funny video, a bit old, but still good. Pokes fun at the whole ‘unboxing’ thing. Go on. Watch it. Then click the youtube link and read some of the best and brightest of humanity try to figure out if it was real. Perhaps a hologram? Perhaps actual alien miniature cloning technology? Godjesusrobot… We laugh at people from the 50’s for thinking we would have flying cars. That era was full of hopeful thinkers at least. In 50 years, if the storage medium even lasts that long, people can look back at Youtube comments (or Yahoo Answers) and be grateful that either a.) These people were too stupid to figure out how to reproduce. Or b.) This generations children hated them so much, they actually forced their children to read a book. One with, you know, knowledge in it. Now, Onto the gold!
chilosa937 (1 week ago) how did that happen? is that computerized or did it come like that in the box?
XxMRxMADxMONKEYxX (3 months ago) Obviously fake.
ganondorffromhell (3 months ago) I thought it was real ..
I told my family about this and they said is fake
now I figure out that is fake..
your voice is like a guy havin sex–
5*****/5*****
Now, to be fair, these are only the most retarded that I read. And I only read around 100 out of almost 3,000. Person #1 believes that tiny little people may have actually come out of the box, but isn’t sure. Person #2 believes he’s so far ahead of the curve he’s going to make sure everyone knows that it’s not real, and he’s going to be the champion of truth in a world of lies. Then we come to person #3… Named after a character from The Legend of Zelda (chick magnet), ran and told their family about the amazing wizard on the internet, takes credit for figuring out it’s fake after being told so, and then does a 180 540, and hits on Sexy Randall the Computer Wizard for having sexy whisper voice (?). We have the ability to communicate and share information with people we would never otherwise meet. We share pictures and video that technically don’t even exist, and this is normal to us. Then we actually look at what actually happens when people who are normally ostracized get an uncensored voice.
Yup. Apparently, a long time ago, an engineer hated Texas. When asked to design the interstate system for North Texas, he saw his chance to really stick it to ‘em. Not only is Balch Springs right in the ballsack (Balch is a contraction for ‘ball itch”), but there’s White Settlement… right there at the tip. Tee hee. Penis.
